258. All I want for Christmas (12/06/07) - Sage, New York, Age 19

My mother died Dec. 15, 2001. I was thirteen years old. My sister was eleven (her birthday is Christmas Eve). Every year since then, Christmas hasn’t been the same. Every year I wait to see mom downstairs with my father, ready to open the gifts and dance and laugh. Every year I cry, alone. All I want for Christmas is a hug from her, and to tell her that I love her, and I miss her, and I hoped that day would never end.

257. Welcome home, Pop (12/06/07) - Steve, Ohio, Age 20

When I was 17, my dad was in the hospital over Christmas for sepsis, low renal function, gout in every joint, and congestive heart failure. He had suffered a minor heart attack and we took him in. The doctors were amazed he was still alive. He was in the hospital about a month and was released three days after Christmas, good as new. When we got home, he lay down on the couch and watched T.V. for about an hour. Then the phone rang. I got it for him, and it was his mother, calling to say my grandpa had just died.

256. Vigilante dad (12/06/07) - Tim, Maine, Age 33

The worst Christmas I ever had was three years ago. My ex-wife had taken our two offspring for Christmas at “her house” (with the prick she had been cheating on me with while we were married). I spent Christmas Eve with a bottle of bourbon, watching "Face/Off" on my laptop and listening to the wind howl around my apartment building. Christmas morning, I woke up to the phone ringing, and it's my daughter crying her eyes out. She told me that Todd (the jagoff my ex dumped me for) had touched her in her “swimsuit area” while my ex was asleep.

I hopped in my car and went to my ex’s house. I pounded on the door and yelled, “I want to see my kids!” Todd opened the door and said, “What the fuck are you doing here?” I grabbed him and started beating the shit out of him. We fought for about 15 minutes, then the cops showed up (thanks neighbors!). The cops dragged us apart and began hitting me with their nightsticks. I yelled, “This cocksucker was raping my kid!”

The cops shoved me into the squad car and I spent the day in the holding cell. Then one of the cops told me that my kids were being released to their Grandmother. The next day, I got out of jail and went home to my answering machine. There was a message saying that neither my ex or Todd can care for the kids now. So my mother is bringing up my kids. She will do a better job than me. Now I have to find Todd and kill him.

255. Clean and sober S.O.B. (12/06/07) - Amy, Minnesota, Age 37

Last year, my big brother was inspired to try rehab. At Christmas, he began to brag to everyone how he'd turned his life around, which I wasn't buying for a minute. After going on and on about his recovery and his quest to "make amends," he was in the back bedroom begging my sister for some Vicodin (she was prescribed it after surgery).

On top of that, ever since he figured out I was a lesbian, he's made that the yearly topic of ridicule. Last year, he made a huge deal out of my gift, calling for everyone's attention as I was opening it: he got my partner and me four flavors of Joy Jelly and a tiger-striped velour blanket that smelled like incense. I was incredibly pissed, but I had to be nice and respectful of his new, "sober" self for the sake of my mom.

254. It’s just a flesh wound (12/06/07) - Nick, New Jersey, Age 18

The Christmas right after the Xbox came out, in addition to the console and games, my brother and I had asked our dad for various knives and swords. He got us some pocket knives. One of them was razor-sharp and came in a leather sheath. After opening it and examining the blade, I tried to force it back into its resting place. The blade went through the sheath and through the web between my thumb and index finger. My dad freaked out and said I ruined Christmas. My drunken mom just screamed until he took me to the hospital. (She couldn't take me because she couldn't go out in public without any make-up.) I got stitches. The whole episode, which my older brother had videotaped, later was used as evidence in my parents’ divorce.

253. Three days to find the body (12/06/07) - Ann, Illinois, Age 25

My Dad had been in the mental ward all of December. Three days before Christmas, he killed himself. However, we didn't find out until Christmas Day, when the cop showed up at our door. It had taken them three days to find his body; he had killed himself in our family car out at a lake.

Another Christmas, my Mom beat me and my sister for putting socks in the clothes hamper that should have been folded and put away. Socks ruined Christmas that year.

252. She never made it home (12/06/07) - Les, New York, Age 19

Two years ago on Christmas Eve my mother was mugged and killed by a crackhead while she was bringing home our Christmas presents. She had hidden them at work so my sister and I wouldn't find them. Since my mother often worked late even on weekends or holidays, we just assumed she would be home by Christmas morning. Instead, the police came by around 11 p.m. with the bad news and what was left of her personal belongings: the gifts. The crackhead took her purse and all her jewelry but left the couple of wrapped boxes she had in her arms.

The next day, my father took off for good (apparently he and my mom hated each other at that point; he didn't seem to care when the police gave us the news), and left my little sister and I alone in the apartment to open our dead mother's gifts by ourselves. She bought me the video game I had asked for. I have been in and out of prison since then and my sister is in foster care somewhere I can’t find her.

251. Our dog died under the Xmas tree (12/06/07) - Chelsea, Long Beach, Age 20

Two Christmases ago my parents, my ex-boyfriend, and our dogs travelled to Canada to spend Christmas with my grandmother. A few days after we got there one of our dogs was acting slightly ill, having intestinal problems. We took her to the vet on Christmas Eve and he said she had ingested a small amount of poison. The vet gave her some vitamins and told us she should be fine. That night, at midnight, she bled to death out of every orifice. She died underneath the Christmas tree with all of us around her. I had raised that dog from a pup and had her for nine years. It was horrible to watch her die.

Oh, yeah...That's also the same day my ex-boyfriend smacked me hard enough to make the insides of my cheeks bleed, and tried to make me promise not to tell my parents.

250. Dumped, drunk, and suicidal (12/06/07) - Ada, Santa Fe, Age 26

Last year I found out I was pregnant and my boyfriend convinced me to have an abortion. His reasoning was that he wanted to get a better job to have more money to raise a kid properly, and that it wasn't the right time. Right after I did it he broke up with me. Two weeks later I found out he had been cheating on me for weeks with some bimbo. I spent the holidays drinking myself into oblivion and contemplating suicide. Christmas dinner with my family rolled around and I got completely wasted, started a fight, and drove home drunk. The next morning I found myself sitting in a cold bathtub with my wrists partly slashed. Now a year later, I still drink every day.

249. Christmas in rehab (12/06/07) - Kristen, Colorado, Age 17

A couple of years ago, my parents sent me to a treatment center in Utah. This place was hell, especially on Christmas. We had to go through seminars, and had to do work to complete them. If we didn't make it, we weren't allowed to watch movies. Instead, we had to sit in a room and listen to educational tapes and take tests on them. On Christmas, while they played movies, I was sitting in a room listening to stories about old philosophers and taking tests. Meanwhile my family was home opening presents and having a normal Christmas.

248. Pink slip from Santa (12/06/07) - Wendy, Cincinnati, Age 39

This Christmas will suck. On December 12 my coworkers and I were told that our building will be closing and the accounts we service are being sent to another company. We can follow the accounts to have a job, but we would lose all our seniority, vacation, etc., and the new company is known for layoffs. If we don't take the new job, we get severance, but it will only amount to a week and a half for every year we've been there. I was sick a lot this year and had to use paid leave. They changed companies towards the end of my leave and the new company refuses to pay for the last 2.5 weeks. I had no pay check two Fridays ago and the one coming on this Friday is less than normal. On top of that, I am in the middle of buying a house and I have a 10 year old (and no child support). All gifts except a few for my 10 year old have been returned to the stores. I am not supposed to drink because I am diabetic, but I think I will need some alcohol to get through this mess (that is, if I can afford it).

247. As if I didn’t exist (12/06/07) - Gabriela, Maryland, Age 18

Last year on December 23 I got into a huge fight with my father and it got very violent. I left the house and slept in the car in the parking lot of my work. The next morning, I returned, hoping to reconcile, but was instead told to pack my things, give up my car keys and leave the house, even though I was the victim of the violence, not the other way around.

I was taking care of my neighbors’ house while they were out of town, so I ended up spending Christmas Eve and Christmas Day across the street from my own house, sleeping on my neighbors’ couch. Through the window, I could see my family celebrating Christmas without me, as if I didn't exist.

246. Amateur chimney sweep (12/06/07) - Win, Southern Illinois, Age 18

The Christmas when I was 7, I saw my father fall from the roof of a house. My grandmother’s chimney was clogged and letting smoke into the house. We had to stand outside in the snow, then my idiot father decided to unclog it. He climbed onto the roof and then fell off of it, while the whole family watched in horror. He broke all of his ribs and had internal bleeding, but survived.

245. He buys gifts for his mistress (12/06/07) - Heather, Thomasville, Age 34

I found out on December 23, 2003, that my husband of 10 years was having an affair. He said he broke it off but then bought her a car. He comes and goes, but does not want a divorce, and if I file for one he will kill me. Every Christmas, he still buys both of us gifts. I am the one who usually gets shafted. I don't get him anything. The last three years have been terrible. I want to find someone new, but my husband would kill us both. He is the biggest jerk on the planet. I dread Christmas, because every year he ruins it for me.

244. Another Christmas ruined by cancer (12/06/07) - Clark, Great Britain, Age 28

The summer before last, mum was diagnosed with cancer. We had a rubbish summer, but Christmas was the worst. We used to have large gatherings of people, too much food and drink, and loads of presents. All that doesn’t matter. What counts is spending time with your family, and that’s what will never be the same again.

This year no one can talk about what happened. It’s terrible to watch the strongest woman you have ever met waste away. Even after the inevitable happened, still no one talked about it. If this happens to your family, take one piece of advice and for crying out loud talk about it - just communicate.

So here I am, alone at Christmas. I’m going to a friend’s for lunch tomorrow, but I haven’t put any decorations up or sent Christmas cards. It reminds me too much of last year, when mum couldn’t eat her dinner because she was so ill. I don’t know if I’ll be able to eat my lunch, but at least I will be round a table talking to people, and hopefully not getting upset.

243. Holidays up in smoke (12/06/07) - Connie, New York, Age 32

When I was six my dad got dead drunk and plunged headlong into the Christmas tree we had all worked so hard to string popcorn for and make beautiful. After I got married things went progressively downhill from there. One year my children set the living room rug on fire. Ex hubby and I quickly stomped it out. Last year my idiot boyfriend spent all my money on weed, so guess what both of us got…Nothing. This year was better. I spent the holiday with my new (non-druggie) sweetie and his family. One good Christmas - I think it’s a fluke.

242. Domestic disturbance drama (12/06/07) - Bruce, Connecticut, Age 35

I have a 19-month-old son and was really looking forward to enjoying Christmas with him. I decided to take two weeks off work, my first vacation since I got married. On December 18, I came home to find my wife and son gone. My wife came home within an hour and informed me that she was leaving for her father's house and I wouldn't see my son again. On December 23, I was served with divorce papers.

On New Year’s Day, my wife agreed to let me see my son, but only under the supervision of my parents. When I got to my parents’ home, I took my son and drove him to my house to open the Christmas presents I got him. Within five minutes, my wife was breaking into the house, knocking out doors and windows with a cinder block. She eventually made her away up the cellar with a 2-foot lug wrench, threatening to take my son. I called the cops and informed them that she broke into the home and was threatening me with a deadly weapon. The cops came and we were both arrested! I still don't understand why I was arrested, but the cop informed me that in Connecticut, state law requires that both parties be arrested during a domestic disturbance.

241. Christmas of the living dead (12/06/07) - Matt, California, Age 28

Christmas of 2004 was my worst Christmas. My grandmother insisted that I join her at her brother’s house a couple hundred miles away for Christmas dinner. Upon arrival I found out why my grandmother wanted me to come. Her brother’s wife of 40 years had been deathly ill for the last eight or nine months. The month before Christmas she entered a coma and a week later she was brain dead. That’s not that big a deal. She was old and had a long full life. The big deal was this: Her husband (grandma’s brother) and the kids brought her home for “one last Christmas with Mom!”

In the living room is a huge Christmas tree, tons of gifts, a cheery fire and the faint smell of urine. There planted in a hospital bed right next to the tree is the wife. Over the warm sound of Christmas music is the ever-present hum, click-click-woosh-click of the heart/lung machine that is keeping her “fresh.” Her family was all around the room talking at her. It was almost like a normal conversation, but all questions were phrased in such a way that she was not required to answer.

By this point I was completely weirded out. The day progressed and the dining room table was moved into the living room so that we could eat Christmas dinner with the dead. To be fair, right before we started to eat, one of her kids changed the IV drip food bag. The new food bag had a bow and ribbons wrapped around it. I didn’t ask if the new stuff was turkey flavored.

A year later I found out that her husband was keeping “the meat fresh” just so that he could use her as a tax write off. Sick!

240. Christmas with a bang (12/06/07) - John, UK, Age 37

In 1998, my dad was a raging violent piss-head and I stayed well away for Christmas. The only saving grace of my tiny scummy bedsit was that it had a power shower, so I spent Christmas Day having lots of fun showers. I had no booze, and all I had to eat was a large bag of raisins which I threw in the air one by one and caught in my mouth. On Boxing Day I felt a weight around my waist and when I untucked my shirt, loads of raisins that had missed my mouth (and that had stuck to me) fell onto the grimy pavement. To my shame I picked them up and ate them. The following year I went home for Christmas and after a drunken row, my dad unloaded his (totally illegal in the UK) .357 at my car as I wobbled off in it with a flat tire. He was so lashed that he couldn't even hit my rusty old Golf from 15 yards away. Next year was a beauty. My smack-head brother set fire to the house by leaving a lit doobie smoldering on his bed, and my moronic father voided the house insurance by gleefully lobbing left-over fireworks into the blazing wreckage as the firemen desperately tried to put it out!